Yea, the site is still uglier than hell…just deal with it until I can get my head around the concept of the web design!  I promise, the posts are still funny.  At least they are to me ; )

Hopefully, my friends Jen and Lisa will help me with the design aspect soon…maybe when they take a look at how ugly the damn thing is, they’ll rush to my rescue and help me with the design!  I am helpless….

See you at the new and improved Reason #512 v2.0!

There’s an atmostphere of camaraderie, though – like a Babes In Arms type production when Judy Garland says “I know, let’s put on a show!” But in this case, there no summer stock barn to put on a revue with the local kids – it’s a 2,600 seat Performing Arts Center, filled with patrons who have tickets to events later this season on shows that won’t exactly ever happen and for whom no refund will be made. Sigh.  At least the patrons are nice.  No one is screaming or yelling, everyone seems grateful that at least one show went on. All in all, it’s a learning experience. but boy, do my feet hurt and my face aches from smiling all the time.  My stint as a greeter at The Gap is coming in handy.  Everyone patron who came through the door last night was greeted with my manic smile and a “Thanks for coming to the show! Do you have your tickets in hand? What’s that? You lost your tickets? Well, it sucks to be you – we have no idea where you were seated because AMT didn’t give us your customer data information.  How about some balcony seats?“

So, sorry I’ve not posted in a while…on top of this, I’m planning my big move to Reason512.com which should be a blast!  As in a blast for you, dear readers, when I start posting all the crazy wacky shit that it’s in my head.  I’m working on an Oscars page, complete with Bingo cards and drink recipes for the big day.  In the meantime, have a nice day and enjoy the show!

See what I mean?  I can’t escape “show mode.”  I’ve got to go find me a bar in San Jose to start drinking.  At least the hotel bar has Tito’s Vodka!  Yea!

I’ve been hosting an Oscar Party since the 1992 Oscars, the year Unforgiven won.  Come hell or high water, the party has gone on.  When I got married the week after the Oscars in 2001?  No worries, I just begged one of my bridesmaids to let me host at her house in Austin, while we all assembled wedding programs in front of the TV.  In 2003, my grandmother died a week before the Oscars.  In her honor, we held the party the day after her funeral in my parents condo, just family and close friends.  It was sweet, actually, as Grandma kind of nurtured my love of movies  (for years, she always bought me a subscription to Premiere Magazine as a Christmas gift).

In 1996, I was living at home while looking for an apartment in Houston and I hosted the budding tradition of a party at my parents house (note to self, when hosting a party in Spring, Texas, only 2 of your friends will make the schlep all the way from Houston – thanks, Meg and Jen!).  It was during this year that my brilliant dad had the idea to make Themed Drinks for one of the nominees – The Tang Martini, thanks to Apollo 13. 

The tradition for Themed drinks grew the next year, as I served Guinness for Good Will Hunting, shipwreck blue Margaritas for Titanic and the like.  Soon, the tradition became bigger than the party itself – people wanted to know what was I going to make for the themed drinks rather than who I thought would win.  Some highlights over the years include the Roberto Begnini Bellini (for Life is Beautiful), a Warsaw Rose for The Pianist, Pink California Sunshine  for Little Miss Sunshine and the Juno Sunny D Screwdriver.  Lowlights include a Flaming Dr. Pepper for The Insider (seriously, you gotta better idea for a drink symbolizing that movie?  If so, do tell), a Car Crash for Crash (it had Southern Comfort in it – ’nuff said)  and mead for each and every year The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nominated.

Now that the ‘best movies of 2008′ lists are making the rounds and the 2008 Golden Globe nominees have been announced, I start thinking about the possible candidates for Best Picture Oscar nominations.  So far, I’ve narrowed down the list to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, The Dark Knight, The Wrestler, Gran Torino and Changeling.  I’ll start kicking around some ideas for each movie as the weeks progress, feel free to comment on ideas or thoughts.  Drinks can be based on specific scenes in the movie (last year’s No Country for Old Men, I made  White Russians in a classic glass milk bottle and called them White Chigurhs) or they can be a play on words of a character, actor or movie title.  Really, anything goes so long as it’s slightly clever.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button will probably be the hardest….I’d better start my research now in time for the nominations to be announced on January 22!

God, I wish I could be these ladies. 

But I’m not.  I have the best of intentions.  Really, I love the holidays!  But I’ve never had the energy to get a real Christmas tree, only to have to remove it a few weeks later.  And shopping?  While I always seem to get it done on time, I never seem to get things in the mail on time.  Thank god this year, the family is getting together in January instead of December, so I have some extra time.  Plus, we’re going to Austin, so no post office trip this year!  Yea!

I wish I could have the excuse of actually doing the holiday spirit thing as an excuse for not posting this past week.  But I do have an excuse – our office is getting another city for our stable of Broadway series.  I hate to committo the blogosphere what the market is, but suffice to say, it’s in Northern California.  Last week was spent prepping numbers for a massive pitch to the city and building.  We’ll know Monday if it is a go or not.  It’s kind of exciting!  And yet, totally scary, as we still are short-staffed and quite frazzled.  But as my friend Mike says “you’ve been short-staffed as long as I’ve known you” I guess I should recognize reality and accept the fact that my industry doesn’t do anything whole hog.

So, to get me more in the holiday spirit (and to not hink about the shitload of work that is about to come my way), I’ll think about the ways I do get into the holiday spirit.  while I’m not making gingerbread houses and caroling, this is what gets me into the mood to celebrate Christams:

Putting out bowls of round glass Christmas ornaments – my way of decorating for the holidays; low effort, yet festive at the same time.  Unpacking Parachute Santa and finding a place for him in the house.  This year, he’s on our new guest chair in the living room.  He’s this stuffed Santa my Mom gave me years ago – she has one,  too.  He’s made out of parachute pant material.  He’s awesome, but Craig HATES him.  And for some reason, the dogs have never ripped him to shreds like their normal stuffed toys….I wonder why?

I love walking the streets of Downtown Seattle, with all the twinkly lights, Christmas decorations, the crisp, clear air that smells slightly of saltwater and the sounds of everyone shopping and going about their business. 

Going to Amy’s house over Christmas and enjoying the fruits of labor of someone who does Christmas RIGHT, complete with pigs in blankets and late night Wii fests. 

Baking about 5 dozen cookies to give out to friends and family (I make the same ones every year…I’m a creature of habit). 

Going to Pike Place Market the day before Christmas to buy ingredients for Christmas Eve dinner. 

Working from home Dec. 25 – January 2nd, cause the one thing my company does do right is it give us that entire week off!

That’s what gets me in the Christmas spirit!  And I’ll try to remember that spirit as the daunting tasks of a new market start to weigh down on me in the new year….

I’m thankful for friends, both near and far, who put up with my crazy ways.  Friends who still like to hang out with me, even though I’ve not spoken to them in weeks.  Friends who still accept my phone calls and/or emails even though I’ve not seen them in years.  Friends who come over and have no problem with my house being a mess, my chaotic hosting style and my crazy dogs who like to jump on people.  Friends who make me laugh, make me cry (a good cry) and who make me think….sometimes while laughing and crying at the same time. 

I’m thankful for a husband who thinks I look better without makeup than with makeup.  I’m thankful he still makes my heart jump when he walks into a room. 

I’m thankful for dogs who like to sleep on my stomach….even if they weigh 60+ pounds. 

I’m thankful for a mom and dad who call often and for whom I never tire of hearing about their exploits.  I’m thankful for a brother who always challenges me to be more creative and to appreciate the finer things in life (and who makes me laugh harder than anyone in the whole world).

I’m thankful for the friends who are procreating and making the world a better place by raising smart, liberal, free-thinking children.  

I’m thankful for spell-check, Pamela’s Pumpkin Spice cookies and episodes of The Office and Nigella Feasts.  And the internets, for my lovely blog. 

OK.  That’s it for now….maybe by Saturday, I’ll be  thankful for Missouri beating Oklahoma.  But something tells me I won’t be so lucky.  Happy Holidays, everyone!!

I tend to be a traditionalist, making the same recipes each year, hoping they will become someone else’s traditions as much as mine.  Also, I serve the same thing year after year because I am paranoid about serving something horrible to non-family members.  Last month, attempts to try a new stuffing recipe other than my Southern Cornbread dressing actually had Craig saying one of the test batches was “inedible.”  I tend to only go crazy with my cocktails – this year, I’m serving a Basil Vodka Gimlet.  It is tasty, let me tell you.  Very refreshing, yet savory.  I think it will be a nice balance to the meal, which is liberal in it’s use of butter and cream:

Roast Turkey Breast with Herb Butter (no one in my family likes dark meat, so we go with 2 breasts)

Cornbread Dressing

Mashed Potatoes

Candied Sweet Potatoes

Corn Spoonbread soufflé

Roasted Green Beans with Shallots (courtesy of Amy Gentry)

Cranberry Orange relish

Crescent Rolls (what can I say – they’re from a can, but they are good)

Apple Pear Crisp (courtesy of Amy Gentry)

Pumpkin Pie (courtesy of Michelle Reagan)

Pecan Pie (courtesy of Claire Ashton-James)

To round out this meal, I’m serving Cocktail Shrimp as appetizers along with the ultimate White trash Southern dip – Pimento Cheese.  Nothing says a holiday to the Francis family likes a little Velveeta and mayo on a Frito.  But as much as I lament the Pimento Cheese, I never have any leftovers – people eat it up in droves! 

So there you have it! Your basic Francis-Simmons Holiday Menu.  What are you serving this year? 

But now I am crippled by the design aspect – I am not good at this.  I am no where near as talented as my friends Lisa or Jen.  I am afraid my blog will look like this.   So sorry to the poor woman to whom I am scapegoating for her ugly blog design. 

Keep checking back for updates…I hope to go live with the new and improved Reason #512 by the end of the year, but I’ll still keep posting here until further notice….

I’m thinking the target audience for this catalog is an amalgam of John McCain supporters, older ladies who hate their husbands, Jeff Foxworthy fans and Spencer Gifts customers.  There are lots of spiritual knick-knacks about driving safely, patriotic teddy bears, “As Seen on TV” merchandise (they sell the sham-wow!), etc, etc.  But then there are a few items that catch your eye as you turn the page.

Sure, a redneck type catalog would have the obligatory novelty Hillary Clinton nutcracker - hilarious!

or the far more subtle Bill Clinton Wine Corkscrew -see, the screw is in his crotch!  Funny!

How about a Whoopee Cushion Halloween costume? 

No?  Well, then, I’m sure the Singing Toilet Paper Holder will “sing” to you!  While you’re in the can, why not decorate it with the uber-creepy Cat Toilet Seat cover & rug?

There is a lot of hunting memorabilia as well – what better way to serve your freshly shot venison than with Salt & Pepper shakers in the shape of shotgun rounds, huh?

So far, these are all tame, right?  and then you turn the page to this:

That’s right, ladies & gents, it’s your very own stripper pole!  Something tells me, not many of the catalog shoppers actually look like this model.  And something tells me the “pole” is actually just a simple spring-loaded shower rod.  The best part is the description of the product: 

Pole dancing kit brings home the fun and excitement of a risque dance club! Enjoy the newest rage in workout routines. Easy to set up and remove, no screws or drilling required, extends up to 8’6″. Includes dance guide with 11 moves, instructional DVD with bonus moves, 100 Peekaboo® dollars, and a sexy garter. Three-piece chrome-plated metal pole.

That’s right – It comes with fake money.  Classy!!!  Everyone who orders this should get this Taylor Gifts item for free:

I was bummed I was supposed to take a cooking class today (Wednesday) that I was so looking forward to – a friend bought me a gift certificate from this awesome school called Cooking Communion.  Unfortunately, there were not 12 people in Seattle who wanted to take the course I had chosen – “Fall Appetizers” - so they cancelled the class due to lack of enrollment.  Oh well.  I’m going to have to choose a another class to take – “Fall Pizza Party” anyone?  Or should I do “Sauces and Stocks”?

To ease my sorrows, I decided to try a new recipe last night.  If I couldn’t learn from someone else, I should learn from my own mistakes, right?  But of course, I can’t just chose one recipe and stick to it – no I have to tinker.  I have the urge to always make a recipe my own.  So I decided to make a hybrid from two I found on-line at epicurious.com and damned if it wasn’t pretty effing awesome.  See, I don’t need a cooking class when I can do this myself!  Ha!

Orzo Carbonara with Peas, Bacon and Onions

This is a hybrid from 2 recipes – I’m sure Parmesan Cheese would be fantastic with this, but Craig doesn’t like it, so I left it out.  This dish is like a creamy risotto and you should stir frequently throughout the preparation to avoid burning or sticking.   I would say this serves about 6 people as a main dish, seeing how much we had leftover.

4 slices bacon, cut into ½-inch pieces
2 Tablespoons butter
1 medium onion, chopped fine
1 pound orzo
4 cups chicken broth
¼ cup white wine
½ cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
1-½ cup frozen peas

Cook bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until crisp, about 8 minutes.  Using a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to a paper towel to drain.  Pour off all but 1 Tablespoon of drippings from pan.  Add butter and cook until slightly browned, about 2 minutes. Add onion and cook until golden and translucent, about 10 minutes, stirring often to avoid burning.  Add orzo and cook until toasty for about 3-4 minutes, stirring constantly to avoid sticking to skillet.  Add chicken broth and bring to simmer.  Simmer, uncovered, for 10 minutes until orzo is tender, but very firm to the bite and most of broth is absorbed, stirring frequently (if orzo becomes dry, add a little more broth). Add wine and cook for 2 minutes, stirring frequently.  Add cream and thyme and bring to a simmer for 2 more minutes, still stirring frequently.  Add frozen peas and heat through.  Season with Salt and pepper – you can add Parmesan Cheese if you like at this time as well. 

Enjoy!